Moth in my screen.

Moth pollinating plant at night.

Computer screen shows
Moths flitting through air currents
Halfway cross the world

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The White Institution (circa 2002)

I walked down the street
With my eyes on the building of white
I knew they were like me
Autistic and trained not to fight 

They rocked behind bars and
I knew I belonged there not here
Not out on the streets
With the ones who had never known fear

My body moved forward 
To ocean with sand and with stars
But my thoughts, they went back
To the white institution with bars 

As slugs we might be
But the world it had fashioned a shell
Not home anymore
Not here, not on earth, but in hell

[Events 1999, first written circa 2002, written from memory 2014, May contain errors.]

Wings of Midnight Velvet

The darkness enfolds me in black velvet wings
She holds me close and she holds me tight
She whispers to me of unspeakable things 
Only understood in the darkest of night
Like a lone hermit thrush, she hauntingly sings 
You are safe here with me until morning’s light
Here in the shadows where everything blends
The darkness and me are the closest of friends

Dancing with Shadows

Do you know that I don't know
Anything beyond light and shadow
No ideas, no thoughts
Just reactions

I chase my shadow
I run from my shadow
I touch my shadow
I lean on my shadow
I tap on its fingers
I step on its feet

And we dance
And we prance
And we dance

I can't see you watching
If I did, I couldn't care
Light and dark are now
All that I perceive
Not just the colors
But the things we believe
Ideas don't exist
And neither do you
Unless you bring it
Bring your shadow into view
Then I can dance —
With your shadow, not with you

Black and white
Dark and light
Are all I comprehend
But it's not so bad
To dance with shadows
Round the bend

 

She Purred

She purred and purred her thoughts away
She purred them into her kittens every day
She purred her love
She purred her sacrifices
She purred her hunting techniques
She purred her hopes
She purred her fears
She purred her thoughts for their futures

She purred each kitten into being, into life
She purred each personality into place
So that once they got old enough
To grow into themselves
They would each grow into the person
That she knew they would best become

There was a little grey tabby girl
As fluffy as she was smart
She purred into that tabby girl
That she would have a heart
She purred that she’d be swift enough
To outrun unwanted toms
She purred that she’d be smart enough
To share her kittens with any mom
She purred that she’d be fierce
A protector of kittens and humans alike
She purred and she purred and she purred

There was a little black boy
Whose coat was short and sleek
She purred into that little black boy
That he’d be kind and meek
She purred that he’d be loving
That he’d always make friends
She purred that he’d be caring
Always ready to make amends
She purred that he’d be socially skilled
The glue that held the family together
And she purred and she purred and she purred

There was a little calico girl
As agile as can be
She purred in some more agility
So she’d never fall from a tree
She purred into her curiosity
With just the right measure of fear
She purred mechanical ability
So she’d try to work out what turns a gear
She purred that she’d alway wonder
What made the world turn
And she purred and she purred and she purred

There was fluffy black tuxedo girl
Who had a heart of amber and molten lava
She purred into her liquid sunlight
Just to make her light even brighter
She purred into her wisdom
So her instincts would lead her right
She purred into her excellent eyes
So she could see in the blackest of nights
She purred into her charisma
So that other cats would heed her warnings
She purred, she purred, she purred till morning

And if you could ask her
She’d say
“I took what was already there.
I purred a little here
And I purred a little there.
I gave them nothing they didn’t already have
I just purred more into their strengths
And I purred less into their faults
Except when they needed their faults
Then I purred a little there, too.
I purred them songs in their sleep
I purred them stories as they nursed
I purred them complicated Cattish rhythms
That only a cat understands”

And then the kittens started purring back
They purred to their mother
And they purred to each other
And their purrs got more complex every day
And they blended with each other
And they blended with their mother
Until all their purrs were a giant harmony

And the little grey tabby grew into
A fierce and shrewd mother
And the sleek black boy grew into
The heart of the littermates’ family
And the little calico grew into
A feline engineer
And the black tuxedo girl grew into
A visionary cat

And they all loved each other
And they all had respect
For the roles their mother purred
Into their hearts
And they all slept together in a pile
And they purred
And they purred
And the purrs melded together
In perfect rhythm and harmony
As if they were designed that way
And they purred complicated Cattish rhythms
That only a Cat can understand
And they purred and they purred and they purred